A LIFE THROUGH FIRE

Sadness, pain, and grief are often a drive to wield a pen and create pieces like this. It is truly undeniable that we rely on words as we omit all buried thoughts and unperceivable emotions we are feeling. But… I have been happy for quite some time. I have been magnetized to a kind of life where ease and peace was present and evident, I need not fight for survival nor mere belongingness to simply live.

In a different retrospect, this fleeting feeling was immeasurable that expressing and pouring these emotions can put a halt to the happiness I’m feeling. It is frightening to spare a momentary pause on these emotions with a lingering fear that it might stop then on. I was in the moment until I felt everything being pulled further and further away. The happiness and contentment was still there, but I started wondering what it was like to burn for yourself. Not for anyone, but for myself.

Dire circumstances have made me see and realize that I have been keeping the fire burning for how long, until the wick ran out and I have nothing left for myself. Over the moon, but lost, frustrated, and all burnt out. I wasn’t sad nor in pain to be able to write this. If any, it took me a great amount of strength to pour my heart into this, at least to articulate what has been happening, that this difficult time has given light to something I never thought was there.

Until then, occurrences like this are there to depict what lies beyond us. I have no hold for what’s there to come and what’s there to happen, I could only hold onto hope that in whichever sense, this might take me somewhere along greatness and gratification. However, the process and progress can often be exhausting, although sometimes a hard pill to swallow, it’s okay to rest until you’re ready to face the world again.